Bathroom graffiti

“DRUNK OCTOPUS STILL WANTS TO FIGHT YOU.”  Wow, D.O.  You seem so bold.  So angry.  I wonder what happened to you in the past  (or between us) to make you still want to fight me…  Yes, I laughed at your dialogue bubble, but only because it seemed an amusing image – a drunk octopus finding its way into a pub (this far away from the beach?)  already having beef with someone.  D.O., I am not saying you don’t have a right to be mad.  I am just wondering about the root of the anger.  And how you got here. 

I pause and think too much: Is this a plural you?  Have we polluted the oceans so much that we have driven its inhabitants to drinking?!  Drinking and fighting?!  Did I leave trash on the beach at some point?  Could D.O. have beef with me in particular?  I don’t remember polluting the oceans, but then again, who does?

I return to my table of friends at Christie’s Europub after a pensive trip to the ladies room, and I can’t help but to wonder out loud, “Is there a drunk octopus in the men’s room?”  Considering the hushed question, conversation grew alarmingly still.  Stephanie and Jennifer needed no additional information, as they were apparently familiar with D.O., so they turn to Matt as if this were a reasonable question as he puzzled.  After a brief discussion about bathroom graffiti, Matt thought for a moment:  “There are no tentacled creatures, but there is someone being watched.”  It was the lady’s turn with to wonder.  “There is a metal bar about the toilet, while you are… you know…” Matt spoke carefully, “You see, ‘JUSTIN YOUNG, WE ARE WATCHING YOU’.” 

Who is WE?  A group of starfish?  Stingrays?  I really hope stingrays would not spend there time in bars considering the fact that they are always armed.  Whoever WE is, why do they want to watch?! 

A couple of months later, I once again found myself face-to-face with drunk octopus, and I decided to stand up to D.O. and try and figure out what the problem was.  It was only then that I noticed her eyes, obviously confused and pathetically off kilter.  Yes, D.O. was still offering the same utterance, but this time, it had a different tone.